Hello, I'm Chris
MY NAME IS NOT: CHRISTOPHER
My parents named me Chris and not Christopher because they didn’t want to give me more letters in my name than my identical twin, Craig. Everything was always equal in the Shirley household, except when it came to self-righteousness. Growing up, I had more than my share of that.
Freak Factor: TWIN
Life as an identical twin is absolutely everything it’s cracked up to be. You’re an instant celebrity the moment you clear the birth canal.
BIRTH DEFECT: WALL-EYED
Growing up, my classmates often commented that I was a great friend and a gifted canoer, but they never knew which eye to engage. To say I had a lazy eye didn’t really cover it, since I actually used both eyes—just not at the same time.
SUCKS AT: SPORTS
Yes, it's a complete cliché that the wall-eyed kid sucks at sports. Enough said, right? Well, no. I've got an axe to grind.